Contrary to what many people may think, therapy is not about fixing your issues or making you act in the opposite way to what you are doing now. These misconceptions come from assuming that there is a ‘right’ way and a ‘wrong’ way of being. Therapy is about moving beyond the whole notion of right and wrong, and operating with the wisdom that every behavior is valuable in a certain context. This means there is a place for all of our emotional states, and we need to be present enough to discern what is most valuable in the moment.
There is a time when anger is useful (like when someone is violating your boundaries or abusing you), and when anger is not useful (when blowing up at your loved one when you are angry at someone else). There is a time where it’s useful to trust people, and when it’s useful not to trust.
The more we try to operate in absolutes, the more we limit ourselves and create issues. Therapy teaches us to be in charge of our behavior, looking at what’s needed in the moment. In the long-run, this allows us to process our emotions appropriately, and operate in alignment to our values. Whenever you are feeling in charge of your life, you are not operating from fixated beliefs. And, when life is not working for you, you are probably running an old program from the past of how things are “supposed to be”. Let me know if you can relate!
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